Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sleep

For the first 12 weeks of a child's life, they should be eating every 3-4 hours. This can be burdensome on the nursing mother, but the demands of this cycle must be met without challenge or parents invite very serious problems into their relationships with their newborns.
What my wife and I did with our older daughter was very simple: She would feed her at around midnight and then go to sleep. At 3:30 AM, I would get out of bed, warm up a bottle and have it ready. Part of the key here is not waiting for the baby to wake up. That is a foolish challenge to nature, and a gamble not worth taking. At best, you get an extra hour of sleep, but you also train your child to cry, not just for attention, but to assert that you are not meeting his needs. If you have the bottle (or breast) ready in advance, then your baby gets the reassurance of dependable needs meeting that doesn't require fussing.
Now the assumption or fear here might be that you are defanging your child and negating some crucial survival skill by not making him or her sing for their supper. But let me tell you what happens after you wake up ahead of your child ever night for three months and give him or her a bottle under dark, quiet circumstances. You get the pediatrician's okay to cut out that feeding and so you go to sleep that night. And the hours go by and your child sleeps through the night. On night #1. Because you weren't battling with nature, you weren't battling at all.
Babies cry, and even the child whose needs are anticipated will, but that child will be less likely to use crying as a tool for manipulation. Not unlikely, just less likely. And that means more sleep and less screaming for years to come.

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